At the End of the Day

Finally, I made it through The Day from Hell™ (and without 70+ year old wang to ruin the start of my day, unlike yesterday; shut your curtains for fuck's sake!) Annoyingly though, I've had tachycardia and random arrhythmia all day. Having your heart want to beat itself out of your chest (kinda like in Alien) is very tiring. Still a pain when being told to push and push and push by the physios, though.

The highlight of The Day from Hell™ was definitely the Hypermobility talk, as I learnt loads. Basically, my condition is actually Marfans, but I have Ehlers-Danlos because of the Marfans. Essentially it means that the proteins that are affected in my genes include more than just one type of collagen, it also includes a few other types of collagen, fibrillin and elastin as well. Basically, it's suck.

So I essentially have my hierarchy of disorders now, which makes me feel a bit better. It's also common for people with genetic physical issues to have genetic mental disorders too, which explains my bipolar too. My genes are a combination of sheer bad luck and being something aberrantly evil in a past life, I guess. It sucks though, especially on days like today, I want an off switch than had no way of being turned back on. Maybe I could get one for Christmas?

Swimming was good today, I actually did some water exercises rather than swimming (I still did a bit of swimming) and although it was really tiring (even more so than I have been all day), I found it really good. It's something I really want to continue with once I finish. I really, really want to get back into swimming again. I might make it one of my "Three Month Goals" to get back into it, as well as to develop my gym ball exercises (as I have ordered a purple one!) to build my core stability!

I have decided that I want to learn how to give myself a decent day-to-day life and I feel that although this course is bloody hard, it's helped me to do that. It's also made me realise that working unfortunately isn't for me. I need to focus on myself and although I can't be cured, I can at least try to keep it at bay. Keeping Marfans and EDS at bay however will be my full time job. I'm not sure how to feel about this, but it's what I need to do.

Tomorrow I get to go home for the weekend! It'll be a short day of singing hymns and some other stuff to prep us, so we can return fresh on Monday morning. My weekend goals are pretty good this time round, I've already done one of them though! (which was to look into getting a gym ball, shhhh!)

Hopefully the supposedly chaotic amount of snow we're supposed to get tonight won't hinder my getting home (or give dad issues driving down here to pick me up tomorrow afternoon), but at least it looks nice!